Legends In Their Own Minds

Community Service

An Argh! session summary.  Present: Britani, mean cheerleader, Ron, a dude, Vanessa, goth witch, Luanne, school journalist, George, nerdy magician, Jade, biker and big sister, Iggy, demonic janitor, and Scott, cursed ex-jock.

In the typical Surf City High School spirit of doing everything possible to make its students lives more miserable, the administration has added a Community Service Requirement to force the students to “volunteer” for two weeks over the summer.

George, Vanessa and Luanne have volunteered at the Memory Project, which aims to record oral histories of the elderly with unique stories, starting with the Chumash reservation elders.  Scott has volunteered to drive the Shut-In Shuttle, providing housebound seniors transportation and doing small errands for them.  Ron totally blows off the requirement and gets wasted.  Brittani, Jade’s sister Makenzi and George’s nerdy friend Norbert volunteered to be counselors at Godel Escher Bach (GEB) day camp for talented inner city youths.

On his way to the Chumash reservation with Luanne and Vanessa, George gets a call from Norbert.  GEB camp has many counsellors who are students at the elite private high school Prodigy Academy, and there are recruiters from Prodigy talking to the most talented campers.  Norbert sees Prodigy Academy as the escape route from a school where he is known for being caged and displayed as a romantic hopeless case during the LP10 incident.  But to go he’d have to get one of the scholarships for “unique talents”, and he doesn’t think he’d qualify.

The three interviewers first stopped at the home of Mei Sun Pico, whose house had a Zen garden outside and a mix of Indian arts and crafts and elaborate origami inside.  As a child during WWII, Mei Sun had been interned in a concentration camp on the Poma reservation, where she was allowed to play with the Indian children.  She told them about meeting the Corn Maidens, who fed her grains but fled when she brought a bowl to save some for her parents.  “That sucks!  What kind of cautionary tale has the moral, never share with your family?”  When she went to make tea for them, George noticed that her origami were moving on their own.  When the full impact hit him, he fell on his knees in front of her and said “Teach me, Sensei!”  She refused to become his master, but said they could learn as students from each other.  George showed her his magic, by writing a protective spell.  Then Mei Sun folded the spell into a shield and handed it back to him.

The next interview was with Chumash elder and master of the datura ceremony, Fernando Librado.  He told about taking classes as a Berkeley student in the 60′s with Luanne’s friend Bara Ingule, the anthropologist and fantasy author.  He was pressured into performing a datura ceremony for his fellow students without having had the training, which was fatal for one student.  This motivated him to go back to the Chumash elders and make sure he had complete training at the ceremony, as well as completing graduate work in pharmacology.  Fernando apologized for being brief, but said he was expecting to be picked up to go to an important meeting.  With that, Scott pulled up in the Shut-In Shuttle, and asked what errand Fernando wanted to do.  Fernando indicated that he would go with Scott to Scott’s next shut-in house, where there would be a meeting.  George, Vanessa and Luanne were intrigued and decided to go as well.

Meanwhile, Jade has been approached by the law firm Avis, Lupus and van Horne with a job offer.  They have a supernatural clientele, and want someone with her experience to provide security.  She meets with chief security officer Stanley Tenet, who offers her a six figure salary.  “Think of what opportunities this could provide for your sisters, especially as they approach college age.  Why, you could even afford to send them to private school”  Jade knows that partner Patricia van Horne is the sole surviving lieutenant of the Bloods, the vampire gang she and the others dusted.  She cautiously asks Tenet if van Horne knows about the job offer.  “Actually, she’s the one who recommended you.”  Jade contacts her current boss Roberto of the Crypts, and tells him about the offer.  Roberto suggests she become a double agent.  With the Bloods out of the way, there’s going to be competition among the vampires to become Master of the City, and he and van Horne are both leading contenders, so he’d like to know what she’s up to.  They devise ways for Jade to secretly report back to Roberto from time to time.  If she doesn’t want to become a double agent, he’ll give her a promotion within the Crypts from guard to soldier, with a higher salary but the duty to wage war if one erupts, as he suspects.

At Surf City High School, Iggy is supervising the students who “volunteered” to work at Campus Beautification by failing to fill out the form in time.  They discover that one of the dumpsters has been filled with animal corpses.  They find tracks of some wild beast, like a very large coyote, wolf, or puma.

At GEB camp, Brittani supervises “Trust-building excercises”.  She tells one of the students to fall backwards, while she stands 20 feet away.  At the last second, she does a cartwheel, catching the student before her head hits the ground.  “OK.  Now pair up with a partner and you all do the same thing!”  Thud! Thunk! Crash! Ow!  “You learned an important lesson. Failure HURTS. I TRUST that you’ll all TRY HARDER next time!”   Ron wakes up nearby, and is attracted by the sound of preteens abusing a beautifully toned piano by one-finger playing of “Stairway to Heaven”.    He goes into GEB camp, and when the kids complain about the emphasis on classical music at camp, goes into an improvised demonstration of how pop music is based on classical ideas.   He attracts a large following of campers listening raptly to his jam.  He notices Norbert talking earnestly with one of the campers, but doesn’t react.  Brittani is becoming suspicious of the Prodigy Academy students, and when a minibus comes to pick them up, stows away on the top of the bus, which is the last anyone sees of her for a while.  (Foreshadowing alert….)

The meeting takes place at Barron Heath’s mansion on St. Inez Mountain, overlooking the new island.  Despite using a cane and announcing that he never leaves his house, Barron is awfully spry and wealthy for the Shut-In Shuttle service.  Mr. Watanabe and Hallitoxin helicopter pilot Cecilia Davis are already there, but both claim to have arrived by chance.  Evidently, the meeting is to discuss the island of the Nuneshesh and what is to be done about it.  Cecilia announces that Hallitoxin has been trying unsuccessfully to reach the island, which seems inaccessible both by water and air.  They would bomb it , but aren’t convinced the missiles would actually reach the island, and have settled for cordoning off the area in the meantime.  Fernando believes that the island could be reached by reconstructing the Rainbow Bridge from Chumash myth, but that would require the cooperation of Little Fog and Little  Thunder, who live with Grandmother Momoy in the land of the gods, reachable in spirit by a datura ceremony.   Cecilia thinks she could get her hands on enough explosives to sink the island, if they could be brought there.  Mr. Watanabe  still believes that his friend the flying stone head is on the island, and wants to be allowed to search it before the island is destroyed.  Fernando , George and Barron speculate on whether Coyote is aware of events and how he would react to them, but all conclude that it is better not to involve him.  They promise to alert each other if something changes to make the situation more critical.

Leaving the meeting, George sees he has some missed calls from Norbert.  In the first one, Norbert is excited and optimistic.  He’s figured out what’s been happening and why it’s so weird: the legends are all real!  George is REALLY doing magic, and those were REAL demons that kidnapped him.  If all the stories are true, then he knows how to get into Prodigy Academy!  The second one has Norbert in a complete panic.  He figured out that some of the campers were werewolves and tried to get one to bite him.  But the reaction wasn’t what he was hoping for, and now the campers’ pack is coming to kill him.  Help!  George calls Jade, and all rush towards GEB camp to save Norbert.

 

Career Day

An Argh! holiday special summary.
Present: Scott, cursed ex-jock; Luanne, cub reporter; Ron Slater, groovy guy; Vanessa,  goth witch; Iggy, demonic janitor; Jade, vampire gang soldier; Britani, mean cheerleader.

The principal has become a fan of self-help guru Bob Germaine. He assigns everyone in the school a project: write your dream resume for 10 years from now. Luanne has a big decision: will she win the Pulitzer before or after the MacArthur genius grant? Ron writes about being a cross-over classical/pop musician. Vanessa will be a psychic investigator, exposing frauds and certifying those with genuine supernatural talents on her TV show. Jade helps sisters Makenzie and Nevaeh write about their careers as a veterinarian and pop star respectively. Scott scribbles in “Stunt Man” at the last minute. Britani will be a top secret CIA agent, exposing supernatural threats to US security (can you actually write “Top secret agent” on your resume?)

After the resumes are handed in, the principal announces that, as a “special treat”, Bob Germaine himself will give an inspirational lecture to the whole school.   Bob proves to be a hypnotic speaker, and as he concludes “And the most powerful magic of all is your dreams!”, time seems to whir… 10 years or a minute later, the students wake up from a daydream about the lecture….

Luanne is at home, finishing up her edits to the “Surf City Super Saver”, an advertisement sheet for local merchants.  Thoughts of high school bring back the old dreams she had.  How was she to know that the dean’s wife was in that locker room with the football coach?  One mistake, and a brilliant career in journalism was washed out before it got started…She wonders if her classmates are more successful, and opens a second window on her browser to start searching…

Ron wakes up to the tinkle of change going into his cup.  He seems to be playing the sax on a street corner.  Bummer!  Reality has shifted again, and the sax is so not his instrument.  But that daydream reminds him of the high school, where he’s sure to have stashed something good…

Vanessa wakes up from her vision, staring into a crystal ball.  That was real magic, just what she’s been avoiding for the last decade as a scam psychic!  Real magic freaks people out, but fakery reassures them.  Speaking of which:  “What did you see?  Will they find a cure?” her client asks desperately.  “Nope.”  “Isn’t there any hope? ” “No.  No hope at all.  That’s 20 dollars.”  (Handing Vanessa the 20) “Can’t I buy some product to bring better fortune?” “No, you’re doomed.  Come back soon.”  (Closing the door on the hysterical client.)  Then again, maybe she wasn’t cut out to be reassuring…  Let’s see, who was at that assembly with her that would still be in town?   Vanessa remembers that when she ran an ad in the Super Saver (“Charm is guaranteed to find your true love!  Act now:  get 2 for the price of one ‘) , Luanne was their copy editor.  She still has Luanne’s number in her cell phone…

Jade is interrupted by a small girl sliding under the car with her.  “Auntie, what’s that black stuff on your face?”  “That’s oil, and it’s now on all your clothes, too, Anavrin.”  As they disentangle themselves and stand up, Makenzie enters, being dragged by two large dogs. “Can you watch her for me?  I’m having a big rush at my dog washing shop, and Nevaeh still has two hours left in her set at the Hula-La.”“Can we go watch Mommy dance? ”  Jade wonders, as she does frequently, why her sisters’ bad choices always end up as her responsibility.  This last decade, they’ve made a bunch of them, and they no longer have the excuse of being immature teenagers….Makenzie interrupts:  “It’s strange.  I was just having a flash-back to that assembly where Bob Germaine told us about dreams, and I don’t think a single kid in my class lived their dream.”

“Hey, watch out there, Scotty.  It’s been 17 days without an accident, and let’s make it to 18.” Big hands pulled Scott further in off the edge of the scaffolding.  Scott had a reputation as a risk-taker, but the other construction workers didn’t know that he’d regenerate any injury if he fell. It was the one use he could make of the curse that stymied the rest of his plans for his life. On the other hand, daydreams like that were not his style.  When he got home, he’d look some of his high school friends up on Facebook.  He hated his life, but he loved living in the future…

Britani awoke in the interrogation room.  “Sorry about this, but it would blow the whole thing if it looked like we were going easy on you.  So what have you got on Thumbs?”  Officer McDermitt asked.  “Not a lot yet, but give me time.”  “We don’t have time.  Your trial is next week.  If you don’t give us something juicy by then, the deal’s off.  OK, you’ve been in overnight.  We can say we’re releasing you on bail, so you don’t have to have another jailhouse dinner.  Here’s a 20 to hold you, but you need to make it worth our while.  And none of your hocus-pocus stuff either.  I can’t sell that to the judge.”

“I haven’t seen you in a while, Ron, and I can’t say I’ve missed you.”  Iggy looked up from mopping.  “That said, your class was the last with any sense of … initiative.  There haven’t been any original sinners here since”  “Hey, man, do you remember that assembly with that Bob Germaine dude?”  “I have a perfect memory.  Gum under seat 3B and a used condom in the chemistry lab were the  highlights.  The speech itself was all platitudes.”  “He did something to reality, man.  This isn’t real, you know what I mean?  Have you seen Scott or Luanne ?” Iggy hadn’t seen them, and checks his Big Book of Sins to see what they’ve been up to.  But the Book has them doing high school shenanigans last year.  “Ron, someone’s been messing with my mind, and I hate that.  I’m going to get to the bottom of this, and make that someone pay!”  “Can I use a computer, man?  I’ll send them some email.”   Iggy shudders at the thought of foul human magic, but points Ron to the computer lab.

“Vanessa, I’ve done a search on all of our classmates, and not a single one has a successful career or happy relationship.”  “Well, Luanne, the spell I ran on your blood is pretty conclusive that your under a spell, but I’d need a bigger variety of samples to determine more precisely.” “That’s easy to arrange.”  Luanne effortlessly hacks into the SCHS alumni mailing list.  The email goes out:  Class of 03 mini-reunion tonight at  Little Shop of Auras!  Overlapping classes welcome!  FREE PIZZA!

“Man, this is more important than I thought! ”  “What, is it a sign of the apocalypse?’“Bigger , man, FREE PIZZA!”

Soon, hungry schoolmates Ron, Britani, Scott, and Makenzie have converged on the Little Shop of Auras, accompanied by Jade, Anavrin, and Iggy.  Guided by Iggy’s memories of hellish reality twists (“and then there was the disco millennium…”  )  and Jade’s magic-sensitive switchblade, Vanessa does a thorough mystical analysis of the students blood, comparing it to that of non-students like Jade.  She finds that the mystical threads of ambition, dreams, and success have been sapped from their blood by an alchemical process.  Plus, there’s a  time distortion effect, that shifted their lifelines back 10 years.

Britani:  “It’s obviously a supernatural conspiracy, and that Bob Germaine guy seems to be the lynchpin.  What can we drag up on him?”  Luanne does a thorough search for info on Germaine, and learns about his endeavors.  In addition to his best-selling series of self-help books:  “Sell your Soul for Success”, “Chicken Soup in Exchange for the  Soul” and “Sell your Co-workers’ Souls First”, Germaine runs a spiritual retreat and spa.  He has a great track-record for counseling has-beens that leave invigorated and rejuvenated, who go on to new heights of success.  “My god” Britani says.  “He’s selling our youthful potential !”  The mystics do some more divination magic, and conclude that the resumes the students submitted would be the focus of  an alchemical spell to extract the potential from a students ambitions and convert it into a potion.

Luanne calls the Germaine Sprit Center.    A woman’s voice answers “How may I help you?”“I’d like to talk to Mr. Germaine about a possible book-signing. ”  “Mr. Germaine’s schedule is very busy.  I’m afraid he cannot fit book-signings in.”  “Darn! My students will be so disappointed.”  “Wait, you’re a teacher?  That changes everything.  Mr. Germaine makes meeting with future leaders a priority.”  While she’s talking, Luanne is also hacking together a fake campus website for a high school, which she locates in a vacant lot in a  nearby town.  She gives Germaine’s assistant the name of the school, a link to the website, her own phone number(listed as the principal’s office number on the website) and sets up a  time for Bob to speak.  “Listen, Bob has this exercise he likes to have his audience do in advance, to prepare them for his talk.  They make up their dream resumes for 10 years from now.  Please make sure that he gets them a few days before the talk, because he likes to incorporate the students’ dreams into his presentation.”

The group spends the next couple of days making the paper trail for the fake school look authentic, and dressing up the abandoned lot so that it is plausible as a school parking lot.  It just  has to fool Germaine long enough that he’ll get out of his car for the group to pounce on him, rather than immediately drive away.  Ron and Scott are in charge of making up fake resumes:  “Hey, man, I know some real losers, man.  I’ll base my fakes on them , so he’ll be brewing up failure not success.”  Scott has a brainstorm:  “What if we put a copy of Germaine’s OWN resume in with the others? ”  Getting a copy off the web, Luanne alters some cosmetic details and mixes it in with the rest, and faxes them all to Germaine.

As Germaine distills his own potential from his own resume, and shifts his life back 10 years, reality shifts again.  The assembly never happens.  In fact, the books are never published, and no one has ever heard of Bob Germaine.

The group awake the next day, and get ready to go back to school.  What a dream they had!  They tell each other their nightmares.  Wait, how did they all have the same one?

On the Tepid Springs Golf Course, which in another reality might have been the Germaine Spirit Center, groundskeeper Bobby Germaine enters the shack that contains his tools and passes for an office.  He’s depressed, because yet another manuscript has been rejected.  He never looks up to see the test-tube labelled “BG resume” that contains the magic potential of the immortal alchemist,  Robert-Francois Quesnay , Comte de Saint Germain

Worth 1000 stats

I visited my nephew and niece last week, and ran a D&D game for them. They
designed characters for themselves and their parents by drawing pictures.

Here are the character sheets I made up in pseudo-D&D 3e.  (Note: my pseudo-D&D stats are only the bonuses not the raw stats.  So Wire girl’s 8 DEX is off the charts, not below average.)

WIRE GIRL

Description: You are partially made of clockwork and springs, and leap around like a jack-in-the-box being set free. Your head is made of metal, and is almost completely solid, allowing you to head butt people and ob jects, causing them to fall down or be pushed back, or hurting them. You were made by a dwarven wizard to be his servant, but rebelled and bounced off to the Arcadia woods, where you are quite at home. You are friends with most of the other inhabitants, such as Sasquahoque, who bangs out any dents in your coils with his hammer and anvil. But you also are skilled at understanding mechanical devices, so you supervise it when you need to get fixed.

Race, Class, Level, size: Construct 6, medium

Attributes: (0 is human normal, 4 human maximum) Strength: 1; Constitution:

NA; Dexterity: 8; Intelligence: 1; Wisdom: 0; Charisma: 2

Hit points: 56 hit points (6 d10+20)

Initiative, movement: +12 to initiative rolls, 60’ movement, springing

Racial talents: See in the dark. Immune to mind-affecting magic, poison, disease, necromancy, critical hits, life drains, getting tired. You don’t heal naturally. In-

stead, you must be fixed by a metal-worker.

Attacks

Springing head butt: +12 to hit, 1d8+3 damage. +2d6 extra damage when it’s an ambush or surprise attack.

Springing head butt bull’s rush: +12, knock opponent back or down

Wire entangle: +5, entangle foe with wires

Defenses

Armor class: 24 (10+ 6 metal skin + 8 dexterity)

Hardness: Subtract 3 damage from each attack

Saving throws: Fortitude: +2, Willpower: +2 Reflexes: +13

Non-combat skills

Acrobatics: +17. Balancing, jumping, rolling, flips, etc

Mechanical devices: Mainly used to patch yourself, but also to disarm traps,

AEROLUS

Description: You are unique, a small griffen-like creature, with an eagle’s head and wings, a lion’s claws and body, and a knotted tail like an Ankylosaurus. Your mouth constantly drips with acid, which you can spit in a fountain affecting creatures up to 50’ away. You are four feet long and weigh about 70 pounds.

Race, Class, Level, size: Magical beast, level 6, small

Attributes: (0 is human normal, 4 human maximum) Strength: 1; Constitution: 4;

Dexterity: 3; Intelligence: 1; Wisdom: 2; Charisma: 1

Hit points: 62 hit points (6 d10+24)

Initiative, movement: +3 o initiative rolls, 30” run, 20” climb, 20” glide, 60” swoop (down only)

Racial talents: See in the dark.

Attacks

Bite: +7 to hit, 1d6+1 damage. +2d6 acid damage.

Tail: +7 to hit, 1d8+1 damage

Pounce: When descending on a foe, can attack with bite, tail, and 2 claws, +7 to hit, 1d4+1 damage each

Spit acid: All creatures in 50’ line take 4d6 acid damage, reflex save 16 for half damage.

Defenses

Armor class: 19 (10+ 5 armored skin + 3 dexterity +1 size)

Saving throws: Fortitude: +9, Willpower: +4, Reflexes: +8

Non-combat skills

Notice: +11.

Track: +11

Stealth: +12 (+16 for hiding)

open locks, and so on. .

Stealth: Hide and move silently +16

TREANT RANGER

History: You are a young treant, one of the guardians of the forest. You are more active and mobile than most of your elders, and spend much of your time patrolling the woods for possible dangers (eg. gypsy moths). You have an animal companion skunk who lives in a hollow inside you.

Race, Class, Level, size: Plant 4, ranger 2, size large.

Attributes: (0 is human normal, 4 human maximum) Strength: 4; Constitution: 4,

Dexterity: -1; Intelligence: 1; Wisdom: 3; Charisma: 0

Hit points: 54 hit points (6 d8+24)

Initiative, movement: -1 to initiative rolls, 30’ movement

Racial features: Low-light vision. Double damage to stationary ob jects. Vulnerable to fire. Immune to mind-affecting magic, poison, paralysis, critical hits.

Attacks

Branch whip: ] +9 to hit, 1d8+4. Full attack, two branch whips at +7 to hit.

Vine trip: +9 to hit, target falls

Entangle in vines: Grapple foe , +13 to hit.

Defenses

Armor class: 14 (10+ 6 bark -1 size -1 dex)

Saving throws: Fortitude: +11 Willpower: +4, Reflexes: +3

Non-combat skills

Notice: +12

Hide: +3 (+14 in forest standing still)

Woodlore: +12

Handle Animal: +9

Diplomacy: +9 .

Ranger abilities

Animal Companion: Skunk. Strength -3, Dexterity 4, Constitution 2, Intelligence -3, Wisdom 2, Charisma -4. Hit points (3d8+6) 20. AC 16. Attacks

bite, +7 , 1 hit point damage. Spray: Area effect, 20’ radius cone. Targets are stinky , plus make DC 14 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1-4 rounds.

Favorite enemy: Vermin. +2 to skills, weapon damage vs. insects. and other invertibrates.

Combat style: 2 branch whips. (see above).

SASQUAHOQUE

History: You are about nine feet tall and burly. Despite your bestial features and giant muscles, you are respected for your cool savvy, technical skill, and reasonable attitude among the forest dwellers of Arcadia. In particular, Wire Girl relies on your metalworking skills to get her back in shape when she needs a tune-up.

Race, Class, Level, size: Giant 6, large

Attributes: (0 is human normal, 4 human maximum) Strength: 7; Constitution: 3;

Dexterity: 0; Intelligence: 1; Wisdom: 1; Charisma: 0

Hit points: 50 hit points (6 d8+18)

Initiative, movement: +0 to initiative rolls, 30’ movement

Racial talents: Low-light vision. Keen sense of smell.

Attacks

2-handed mace: Masterwork iron mace, + 11 to hit, 2d8+10 damage.

Power attack with mace: +7 to hit, 2d8+18 damage

Bite: Bite, +10 to hit, 1d6+7 damage

Grapple: +15 for wrestling (to pine, grab, escape grasp, etc.)

Javelins: + 3 to hit, 1d10 damage, up to 100’

Lightning javelins: +6 to hit, 6d6 electricity damage . You have 12.

Defenses

Armor class: 17 (10+ 3 hide armor -1 size +5 thick skin)

Saving throws: Fortitude: +8 Willpower: +3, Reflexes: +2

Non-combat skills

Athletics: +16 . Running, jumping, swimming, etc.

Crafts: +10You are skilled at metal-working, wood-working, and leather working, among others. You’ve made your own weapons and armor, with the exception of the lightning javelins.

Notice: +9,

Dances with Fox-girls

A session summary for the “first season finale” for Argh! I’ve delayed writing this up a while, so I might not get the details right. Present: Scott, cursed ex-jock, Luanne, school journalist extraordinaire, Britani, mean cheerleader, Iggy, demonic janitor, and Jade, vampire gang soldier.

After wiping out the Blood vampires, it’s time for the dance. Nevaeh calls Jade, and talks her into chaperoning, so that Neveah can go to the dance with her new boyfriend despite being grounded. “That way you could keep an eye on me but my life wouldn’t be ruined yet. Plus, you’d be a great chap-a-roni because you’d just have to stop the kids from doing what you used to do.”

Scott’s father insists that he take the Watanabe kids, Sunny and Gumo, to the dance, since Mr. Watanabe is a business colleague. Scott is distressed to see both his father and Mr. Watanabe in “Accretive Development” polo shirts, having returned from an all day investors meeting. Mr. Watanabe has volunteered to chaparone, so he drives Scott, Luanne and Britani to the dance.

Outside the school, the preacher’s daughter is distributing tracts on “The Real St. Valentine”, lamenting how this brave Christian martyr’s holy day was converted into a celebration of lasciviousness. Inside, different student organizations have set up concession stands. Britani talks to the faculty advisor for cheerleading and “Suck-up girl”, who hints that her period of “secret double probation” on the squad might be lowered to “secret single probabiton”, but cringes into her typical toady act when Britani cuts her off.

A fellow school journalist tells Luanne that she’s planning the headline for the dance to be “Kahunas have (heart symbol)” as a change from the typical depressing school paper headlines like “Athletes’ heads fly off, chomp on teammates”. High school band “Enslave the Mollusk” threatens to perform after the DJ is finished. Jade catches some kids spiking the punch and lets them go with a very frightening warning. Nevaeh’s boyfriend asks Scott for advice on how to sweeten Jade into letting them spend more time together. Gumo is a bit of a wallflower, but Sunny Watanabe dances with abandon and acrobatic grace. Britani joins in with competitive spirit.

Andy the kid whose other half had lived among the swordfish men approaches Scott. His other half likes to dance and do other physical activities, which Andy is learning to enjoy, and he’s teaching his other half video games. He asks Scott what Scott’s other half is named, and says “You keep him locked up, so of course he’s angry all the time”. When asked if he’s seen anyone unusual, with another part to them, he says, “Only the guys you came in with.”

Meanwhile, Iggy notices that the school has become infested with spiders, including his office. When the GM mentions cobwebs too often, all the players cry out “Plot! Plot! It’s a plot!” and attempt to run away from the plot, but it’s too late. Iggy begins tracing the spider trail down the corridor. He finds Sunny Watanabe, looking distressed. She tells him that after eating too many of the concessions, and drinking the spiked punch, she felt sick, and ran to the bathroom, but didn’t make it all the way to the stall. She apologizes, and Iggy comes along to clean up the mess. When he opens the bathroom door, Mr. Watanabe rushes out sword in hand and he and Sunny combine to push Iggy into the bathroom. A spotlight has been set up to eliminate shadows, and Gumo has taken spider form and filled the room with strong webs. Iggy is held tightly and cannot use his shadow-walking ability to escape.

“Now demon!” Mr. Watanabe says. “Relinquish your claim to the souls of Surf City! And order your swordfish people minions to let us go to the island! Or else!” Iggy keeps his cool and responds to their questions with his own.

Mr. Watanabe and his associates Sunny the Kitsune (mischievous fox spirit) and Gumo the Tsuchigumo (shape changing spider-monster) (posing as his children) are searching for a flying skull that they believe to be on the newly created island. The skull is another associate, and the brains behind Watanabe’s fortune, and had been originally retrieved by Watanabe’s ancestor with the help of an kitsune and a tsuchigumo. It recently disappeared, summoned by some magic that coincided with the tsunami creating the island. They asked local expert Darien the diviner for advice, and he warned them of a powerful demon that claimed the souls of all those who dwell in Surf City and whose allies the swordfish men prevent anyone from reaching the island.

Iggy learns some of this by the questions they ask. The group learns more of it, when, noticing that the Watanabes and Iggy are missing, they go off to look for them, following the trail of magic to the bathroom. When they burst in, Jade attacks the webs and Scott draws on troll strength to free Iggy, while Luann begins interviewing Mr. Watanabe, learning the rest of his story. The freed Iggy uses his telekenesis to further clear the webs. Britani begins saying “Damn! damn! damn!” When asked why, she replies, “It looks like everything is going to be resolved peacefully! Damnit! ”.

After hearing the full story, the Watanabes realize that Darien had tricked them. They still want to go to the island to search for their friend the skull, but realize that it is more delicate than simply fighting their way in. Seeing how disappointed Britani is to avoid a fight, Sunny offers to spar with her. The two face off. Britani is impressed and surprised by Sunny’s versatility: with energy blasting tails, martial arts skills, acrobatic maneuvers, and inhuman reflexes, Sunny is probably the toughest foe Britani has faced. For a while, both opponents manage to dodge or quickly shrug off the other’s attacks. Finally, Britani tries an all-or-nothing gamble. Crouching by an empty locker, she pretends to be off-balance. When Sunny moves in for the kill, Britani dodges, and Sunny slams into the empty locker, which Britani spins arounds and kicks closed with Sunny inside. Swirling the combination
lock, Britani says triumphantly, “Welcome to MY school!”

Fade out, end of season 1

The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre

This is the Argh! modern fantasy game summary from last week.

When we left off, Scott the were-troll, Jade the biker, Iggy the demonic janitor, Britani the mean cheerleader, George the calligraphy magician, Luanne the school journalist, and Luna, the Chumash dog-girl were plotting a preemptive strike against the Bloods, a drug-pushing vampire gang that they’d had several run-ins with. Luanne and George had used hacking skills and other connections to get surveillance tapes and floor plans of the secret sub-basement of the commercial building that the Bloods used as a day-base.

Luna gets a call that the Chumash chief is planning a protest on Mt. Inez. She and Luanne go off to make sure the protest gets good press coverage.

After much discussion, Iggy decides to shadow-walk in to the base to see what’s there. When he teleports in, a cluster of zombies slowly moves to attack him. He teleports out, relieved to see that none of the eight coffins has wiggled, and noticing the position of the security cameras. He makes a stop at home to retrieve his Aztec mace, brushing off the cobwebs, before returning to central control at McDonalds.

Stopping only to buy a few cheeseburgers, he reports to the others. Meanwhile, examining the floor plans, Jade has identified a place in the wall where a sewer tunnel formerly connected before it was walled off. She thinks Scott could punch his way through at that point. George has been perfecting his sunlight spell (“the secret ingredient is heaven”) that he’s been working on for weeks.

They are interrupted by some calls on their cell phones (mainly while some players took bathroom breaks…)

George gets a call from nerd friend Norbert that he’s been inspired by George’s eulogy to Brian to complete his Dungeon of Dismal Demonic Demises, and inviting him and Scott to play. Jade gets a call from sister Nevaeh, who, despite being grounded for life, has been invited to the Valentine’s Day dance that night by athlete Keith. She suggests that Jade volunteer to chaperone, so that she can go to the dance but not be unsupervised. “Plus, you’d know all the stuff kids try from when you used to do it yourself, so you’d be the perfect chaperone”.

Scott’s father called, and asked him to befriend the children of a business colleague of his, Mr. Watanabe, who hadn’t made many friends at school since moving there from Japan. (“So you want me to GUARANTEE they’ll be ostracized? ” )

Mention of the dance reminded them that it was getting late in the afternoon. If they wanted to move on the Bloods today, it would have to be soon. After some talk of sneaking through the sewers, they decide to teleport in but use the sewers as an escape route.

Iggy opened a shadow portal into the Blood base, and stayed in-between to keep it open. Scott went through, armed with a can of tree-tar that George had given him. He sprayed the nearest surveillance cameras, while the zombies shambled towards him. Jade came in next, tripping two zombies with her enchanted chain, then decapitating one with the grate of the cooling unit. Zombies latched onto Scott and Jade, but they were able to shrug them off. Britani tumbled through, decked out in her full battle suit, including a bandolier of wooden spikes. She flipped around the room, taking out security cameras with well-placed kicks. Scott continued to spray camera lenses, only slightly slowed by the zombies. Finally, George and Iggy came through. By this time , some of the coffin lids were beginning to wiggle.
Iggy used his telekenesis to break George free of zombies that had grabbed him and were pulling him in various directions.

George placed the paper with the sunlight spell on a wall, and channeled his magic through it, bathing the room in holy light. Unfortunately, this depowered Iggy the shadow demon, and made troll-form Scott very sleepy. But Jade was working her way through the zombies, and Britani could now turn her attention to the fight, knocking down a zombie and kicking its head clear off (where it bounced around the room). George and Iggy removed the lid from one of the coffins, exposing the vampire inside to pure sunlight, vaporizing it before it got a chance to react. Britani took their cue, and bounced around the room knocking lids askew. The sluggish vampires inside could only stay down and be evaporated, or emerge into full sunlight and be burned even quicker. A zombie gave her a nasty bite on one leg, but she took a second to activate the auto-tourniquet on her costume, and continued her routine. Jade grabbed a coffin lid decorated with a jolly roger skull, and used it to decapitate a zombie, while the vampire inside the coffin burned. George tagged a zombie with a symbol to hold supernatural creatures, paralyzing it.

Meanwhile, a yawning troll Scott lumbered over to the weak point in the wall, ignoring the zombie holding him. He smashed a good sized hole in the wall. Once all the vampires had been burned, and the zombies were under control, George removed the sunlight spell from the wall and went down the tunnel, putting it up again a short distance down the tunnel. Britani tumbled through the small hole and followed him. Scott woke up, and enlarged the hole, while the repowered Iggy maintained a telekenetic hold on the one door leading out of the room. This was a good idea, because someone on the other side began trying to open the door. After Jade and Scott had escaped down the tunnel, Iggy released his hold on the door, and instead used his TK to give a shove to the vampire now lurching into the room. The vampire went flying down the tunnel, landing in the patch of sunlight George had left behind. Seeing two other more cautious vampires through the doorway, Iggy then shadow-walked out of there to the rendezvous point.

Jade figured that they had taken out all the Blood vampiric rank-and-file. The large vampire Iggy had sent to be sizzled in the sunlight was probably Simon the gang’s enforcer, and the other two were leaders Uriah and Trish that Roberto had told her about. The Crypts would soon move into the former Blood territory, and she didn’t think Uriah and Trish would have the power to move against them any time soon.

(Britani: “ And what makes the Crypts any better than the Bloods?”
Jade: “The Crypts don’t consort with demons! ” (Looks at Iggy) “They outsource that to us….” )

One threat was neutralized for now, but an even more uncertain fate awaited them: a high school Valentine dance!

Blood feud

This is a session summary for the Argh! Surf City campaign.

Roberto, the head of the Crypts vampire gang, took Jade aside. He congratulated her on her impressive victory over succubus Dee and the rival vampire gang the Bloods, foiling their attempt to market LP 10 to high schoolers. However, he warned her that his mole inside the Bloods had warned him that she was on their hit list. The Bloods were planning to hold off a while, because they were expecting something bad to happen to some of her allies first. He recommended that she launch a preemptive strike against the leadership of the Bloods: Uriah, the leader; Trish, the consigliere; and Simon, the enforcer, and offered assistance short of a direct assault by the Crypts.

Jade assembled her allies at McD’s. Answering the “We Suck” signal were Scott the trollomorph, Luann the journalist, George the calligraphy mage, Iggy the demonic janitor, Britani the mean cheerleader, and Luna the weredog. (This promptness surprised me very much, since usually things had to get much more immediate before any teamwork was evident.) They decided their first order of business was to locate the Bloods daytime chambers. George put the final touches on his anti-vampire sunlight spell (“Sun hurts vampires because it comes from Heaven, so the missing ingredient is Heaven!”) Meanwhile, Jade pointed out one of the Blood’s human servants to Luna, who tracked him in dog form to a rendezvous with a vampire, who exchanged drugs for cash. Luna followed the vampire to a depressed downtown area, unusual for its lack of dog odors (which she quickly marked for later identification).

Luanne used her familiarity with city bureaucracy to examine the recorded owners of the property. The buildings in that area were all leased to Accretive Development. Luanne remembered an argument her parents had recently, where her mother had wanted her father to drop the Accretive account because it was creating a conflict of interest for her as the mayor’s press secretarty. Looking up Accretive in the city records, she found that Accretive was behind a push to redraw the city boundaries to exclude a planned development project at Mount Inez, currently protected as a city park and the site of the attempted jimsonweed ceremony organized by Dee and the Bloods. Iggy realized that, since he had claimed Surf City as his turf, this was a move to get Mount Inez and the new island out of his jurisdiction.

Luna went to the reservation to cement Chumash opposition to this development of one of their holy sites. Her parents cautioned her to be discreet. She met with the chief’s son, and got him to get his father involved. The son thought the chief would be vehemently opposed to the development, but ascribed base motives: his publicity-seeking nature and the chance to extort money from the developers. But in any case, the opposition would slow approval down. After getting his promise of support, Luna quickly ditched the chief’s son. She went to see the shaman who conducted the datura ceremonies. He thought that Mt. Inez was a particularly potent area for the ceremonies, a direct conduit to the spirit world, but that otherwise the Bloods were completely ignorant and irresponsible in their attempt to hold a datura ceremony there. He offered to train Luna for her ceremony, and agreed that her friends could train too. Depending on which allies they made and which objects of power they found in the spirit world, they might get supernatural powers that would allow them to visit the island, and perhaps even sink it. However, the training was a matter of months, not days.

Meanwhile, George and Luann were hacking into Accretive’s accounts, and getting info on the buildings from the city hall records (permissions to modify, building code inspections, etc.). They learned of a sub-basement area that evidently had no plumbing, and a loading bay that was used in common by all of the businesses on the first floor. They found a contract with Acme Security firm, and with Iggy’s shadow- walking assistance, were able to retrieve surveillance tapes. The sub-basement tapes were almost entirely shades of black, but filtering it in various ways, with Iggy providing guidance using his dark vision, they were able to reveal pictures of elaborate coffins organized in rows. This was certainly the right building, and now that Iggy had seen the sub-basement, he’d be able to shadow walk there. George and Luanne went there to scope the area, and hack further into the network. Lila, a Blood hanger-on, approached them in a nearby donut shop, but just tried to hook them on drugs, not seeming to recognize them from the Hula-la incident. (Well, George had stayed hidden, and Luanne hadn’t really fought, although she did organize the orderly evacuation of the club.)

While this was less action-packed than other sessions, it seemed to go OK. Britani’s player was basically asleep, but I think that had more to do with a long day than the game. Scott had little to do, but his player kabitzed a lot.

Love potion # 10

This is a session summary for last week’s Argh! game. We had the first all-out battle,
and while on the whole, it was successful at creating a free-for-all atmosphere, there
were some points where the rules were unclear or didn’t work as intended. And some
points where I just made mistakes.

The cast was George the nerdy calligraphy magician, Adam, his karate expert kid brother
(Adam was played by George’s player’s son), Scott, the were-troll, Luann, school journalist,
Jade the biker, Britani the mean cheerleader, and Iggy the demonic janitor.
George had stayed home all day, depressed about his friend Brian’s death, and the eulogy he was supposed to deliver the next day. But he had to walk Adam to his karate class at the high school
(Adam was the instructor). The were ambushed by Sensei Cart, the strange derelict that gives Adam expert karate lessons, as a training session for Adam. With the help of bespelled post-it notes
that George covertly slapped on his back, Adam fended off the attack, and sent Sensei Cart rolling down hill.
(This was a solo session designed to teach the game to the new kid. He seemed to pick up the mechanics easily, but the narration part was a bit clunky.)

When they got to school, they found the others (with Ron the stoner and Vanessa the blood witch,
whose players were ill) congregating. Somewhat chaotically, they filled him in, sort of, on the situations: Brian’s ghost haunting the school, and the new drug LP 10, that Brian blamed for the accident he died in, being pushed by the Bloods to high school students. LP10, love potion number
10, was made from the sweat and other secretions of a succubus/incubus team, David and
Delilah, now called Dee to distinguish her from Blood hanger-on Lila. George talked with Brian’s ghost, then he and Vanessa used some of the LP 10 sample that Ron had obtained from Lila last session to concoct ink he could use to negate the sex magic of the sexubi. They didn’t realize that, since the sample given to Ron was the variety for men, it only had incubus in it, so their protective
magic only defended the women in the group. Ron wandered off as he was prone to do, and Vanessa
got busy with analyzing Brian’s bloody writing.

Jade’s sister Makenzi came inside from where the try-out cheerleaders were still standing on Britani’s orders, and told Jade that their other sister Nevaeh had gone to the mall with friends. (“That’s you in middle school, Jade.” Scott said) Britani disbanded the cheerleader trials for the day, despite
the offer of one of the girls (henceforth known as “Suckup Girl”) to drill them all night in Britani’s place. George got a phone call from a computer club friend Norman, asking him to meet him at a Starbuck’s to discuss “something important”.

Sensing a trap, the team left together for the rendezvous. They were ambushed in the parking lot
by four Bloods, two vampires and two human servants. When they tried to grab George, the others fended them off. They cowered upon recognizing Jade and her crucifix-studded chain. They offered to cut the Crypts (who Jade works for) in on the LP 10 market. “We wanted George for the product debut.” “Why George?” Jade demanded. “What better demonstration of a love potion could
there be than making George into a sex-god?” “You have a point…” They told her that the demo would be at the Hula-la, an abandoned go-go club near the Navy base, and start whenever they could recruit enough kids for the party there. Then Neveah called Jade, sounding contrite. “I knew there was a party, but honest, I didn’t know Lila would be there. I’d like to leave, but I don’t know where I am, and the guys are starting to look at me strange. At first I thought it was cool, being given free Cokes in the limo and driving around inviting guys to the party and flirting with them, but now I’m scared”

Despite George’s protests, Adam went with them to the Hula-la and scouted out the terrain. Norman and Ron were in the go-go cages, suspended above the crowd of teenagers. Under the bar, Adam
found a trapdoor to a supply cellar, which had another trapdoor leading up to the sidewalk outside.
George distributed the cards he had made up with the incubus ink (inkubus?) and the group entered
the cellar. Jade wanted to grab Nevaeh and leave, but the others urged a full assault on the party,
and they all went up the trapdoor and crouched behind the bar (except for George and Adam, who stayed in the cellar, since their players had to leave.) Jade was the first to make her presence known,
since she needed to look for Nevaeh. She managed to grab Naveah and get her down the trapdoor,
but was spotted by Lila, who sounded the alarm. Dee, David, and four vampiric Bloods converged
on the bar area.

Dee tried to charm Iggy, but was telekinetically shoved across the room for her troubles, since Iggy was a demon and knew all her devilish ways firsthand. David came on to Jade, but was rebuffed since she was protected by George’s spell.
This made him question his virility in the first time in eternity (“Have I given too much of myself to this project?”) Jade lashed out with her chain, and knocked one vampire into the bar, where a bottle of whiskey broke on his head and poured alcohol into his eyes. Jade thought about getting out her lighter, but felt it was too dangerous to bystanders. Then two vampires converged on her, one moving behind her with lightning speed and grabbing her, while the other sank his teeth in her neck. Scott trolled-up, and beat one vampire with a broken chair, but didn’t unleash his full power so as to keep his troll in control. Then Luanne, still crouched behind the bar, began talking to David, feigning interest. He found the unseen admirer routine both romantic and reassuring, even if she didn’t take him up on his offer to teleport them both somewhere more “intimate”, like an all-night bistro in Paris.

Iggy came to Jade’s rescue, teleporting her away from the bloodsuckers, back to the basement,
letting her catch her breath. Britani and Scott started teaming up, with Scott holding a vampire still with his strength, while Britani staked it through the heart. One vamp poofed, but the next stake missed the heart. At least until Iggy telekentically wiggled the stake into position. But one of the other vamps punched Britani across the bar, where she fell on the floor momentarily dazed, and two of the Blood’s human servants came over as reinforcements. One drew a knife on Britani, but didn’t keep it long. The other drew a gun on Jade, and intimidated her into a show of surrender. However,
Scott reached out and crushed the gun, along with the hand holding it. Dee first tried to seduce Scott, but he was so trolled out that he wasn’t attracted to anything so small and hairless. Then she tried to drain Iggy’s energy, again unsuccessfully due to his demonic nature.

Luanne saw the kids panicking and took charge of the situation, coming out from the bar to organize
everyone into an orderly evacuation. David continued to try to woo the area where Luanne had been, not noticing that she had stopped responding.

With two vampires dusted, their bodyguards disarmed, and the demo ruined, Dee decided it was time to cut her losses. She and David each grabbed one of the remaining vampires and teleported away.
The group freed their friends and destroyed the stockpile of LP 10, both the pink and the blue bottles.

I’ll discuss how the system worked or didn’t in a separate post.

My so-called afterlife

The latest session of Argh!, the modern fantasy rpg, was a little more successful at keeping the group together and focused, with a few exceptions. It was a large group: Scott, the cursed ex-jock; Luanne, the school paper journalist; Ron the stoner; Vanessa the blood witch; Jade, the tough biker; Britanni, the mean cheerleader; and Iggy the demonic janitor.

Here’s a recap: On the first day back from winter break, the kids learn of the tragic death of two of their schoolmates, and a third in serious condition. Jordan the quarterback and Amanda the cheerleader were on a date, and got into an accident that killed Amanda and pedestrian Brian the computer nerd, and left Jordan comatose. When Jade comes to meet her sisters, Makenzi wants to stay to compete for Amanda’s place on the cheerleading squad, but mentions that the locker rooms have been creepy that day, as if someone were watching the girls. (At this point, Josh leaps to the correct consclusion: “It’s the nerd’s ghost…”. I’m either not very subtle, or Josh and I have spent too much time together…)

Jade finds nothing concrete in the shower, but it is a bit spooky. She stays to watch Makenzi compete.

Meanwhile, Vanessa finds her chemistry teacher, who happens to be a fellow witch, clearing out her desk. She has been suspended for suspicion of her using the chem lab to concoct drugs. She doesn’t want to confess to really using it to brew potions, since the Satanic ritual scare has everyone still on edge. (There was wide sentiment that she should come clean, and sue the district for religious
discrimination when the canned her, but not in character…)

Brittani finds the words “Wipe Out Kahunas” written in blood on the walls of the gym, when she goes there to start cheerleading try-outs. Iggy tries to bleach it out, but when he fails, he realizes its magic blood, and fetches Vanessa, who magics it out and sponges it up for later use. The try-outs
are a disaster, with would-be cheerleaders toppling over for no reason (or because their shoe-laces
are tied together.) Then the words “You can never replace her” appear, and Vanessa again soaks them up.

Meanwhile, Luanne has been assigned the obituaries for the dead students. She goes to interview some teammates of Jordan’s, to find them walking strangely and next to blows. Each accuses the other of giving him a wedgie…

Ron finds his stash behind the air conditioner scattered across the corridor, with the words “Drugs Killed Me” on the floor. He meets Luanne and Scott (having stayed after school for extra tutoring) in the corridor. They fetch Vanessa (and the others) to analyze the blood. (Vanessa: “Wow! A three sponge day!”) A voice says to Scott “You’re the worst! You think that because the jocks threw you out, you can just hang out with the nerds!” An unseen force slams him into his locker, denting it, where he’s stuck until he becomes a bit bigger and fuzzier and pulls himself out. Brian’s ghost becomes visible, and Iggy grabs it telekinetically, and Jade whips it with her mystic chain.

(I’m going to make up some stuff now, because the following really happened in the gym, not the
corridor, but I can’t remember how the transition happened.) Luanne begins to question Brian’s ghost. “Which drug killed you?” “LP 10” (at which point Josh again reads my mind and says
“Love Potion # 10!”) “How did LP 10 kill you? were you taking it?” “Jordan took it, to make Amanda go out with him. She would never have dated that creep otherwise.” “How do you know Jordan was taking it?” “I saw Bill Hoyer give him some. They’re all concerned about Jordan, he’s the big hero, but I’m going to show them he’s the villain!” With this, he faded away.

Ron goes to talk to Bill Hoyer, a drug buddy. “Yeah, I gave him some LP10. He’s always had a thing for Amanda, but she’s been playing him hot-and-cold for years. I thought this time he needed some help to clinch the deal, if you know what I mean.” “Who did you get it from?” “Lila, the girl who hangs out with the Bloods”.

Ron goes to Ryder Park, the sleazy Blood turf hangout near campus, to score some LP10. He sees Lila
with the succubus Delilah, last seen working with Darien to lure kids into a Chumash jimson weed ritual. (Unfortunately, the two NPC’s that I accidentally gave confusing names both seem to be becoming fixtures. Ron’s player used the Walk in the Graveyard rule, to up the ante of danger in return for an extra xp) They stared at Ron, who retaliated with his amazing power of Loitering Inconspicuously. “That bum looks a bit like Ron. He’d be a great guinea pig for LP10. He’ll take anything, and when girls go for him, everyone will know it must be the drug, since there’s no way in hell anyone would find him attractive without it.” “Where do we find this Ron?” “He’ll be at the air conditioner stash about now.” “OK, let’s go!” Delilah and Lila vanish mysteriously,
and reappear at the school.

Ron hurries back to school to meet them. Iggy sees Delilah and engages her in conversation. “I thought I told you and Darien this is my turf”. `When you wrecked Darien’s plan, I had to find some profitable arrangement for myself, so the Bloods and I are working together without him.” “Well, the same goes for you as for Darien. Surf City is mine.” “Unlike Darien, I don’t owe you a favor. In fact, I seem to remember that you owe me for several favors I gave you last time….” “That was
mutual!” “I guess you need to believe that to soothe your ego” (Several players thought the attempts at sexual banter were hillarious, since Iggy’s player and I are both large bearded guys.)

Ron got back to get the LP10 from Lila , and did some chemical analysis. Most of it was ordinary
stuff, mixed with musk and pheromes, but the secret ingredient was succubus magic.

That’s where we left it. I think the group’s plan is to expose and break up the LP10 ring, and convince Brian’s ghost that that avenges his death, so he can get his butt to his real afterlife
and stop haunting the school.

Ron was clearly the star of this episode, but everyone had at least a scene or two. One thing that I’ve
been trying for, but not achieving, is an all-out, whole group fight scene.

My planning for this game started with the general idea of a nerdy revenge-seeking ghost.
Some of the specifics were made up so that the revenge would involve the pcs:
athletes, computer geeks, cheerleaders, and druggies. Then I came up with the episode
title. I’ve only watched one episode of “My So-called life” but consulted with wikipedia,
so borrowed some details from there. LP10 was a last minute insertion to involve
more of the group when I realized that George the nerdy magician wasn’t going to be
played.

Zero Tolerance

This weekend I ran the third session of Argh!, Josh Macy’s and my homebrew modern fantasy game.
Again, a great time was had by most, I believe, but we were back to some pacing and cohesion issues. Several of the players were sitting on the sidelines for most of the game.

We actually have a rule intended for the purpose of getting sidelined players into the action. I
was meaning to inform people of this rule’s existence, but we had two new players, one at the last
minute, and I felt I had spent too much time reviewing rules for the new players to spend more time
introducing new rules. The rule is “taking a stroll in the graveyard”. If a PC is out of the action, they can say a phrase like “I go for a stroll in the graveyard”. The GM is compelled to have something dramatic happen to them, which while dangerous, gets them into the plot. It doesn’t have to be literally a walk in the graveyard. It could be going off by themselves to the creepy mansion, or sitting alone in the library late at night. As a bonus, they get an extra xp for taking a chance and jumping onto the plot train in full motion. We could have used some graveyard strolling in this session, and I think that the GM should be allowed to say “Who’s willing to go for a stroll in the
graveyard?” as well as having it be a strictly player initiative.

The returning player characters were Luanne, school journalist; Scott, ex-jock cursed with trollishness; George, nerdy accidental magician; Iggy, demonic janitor; and Britani, the mean cheerleader. I had been expecting Ron the stoner, and Vanessa the blood-witch, and things would probably have gone differently if they had been there. Luanne’s player had to leave early, and
she provides much of the group cohesion. Those are my excuses, at least!

Instead, we had Jade the biker and Luna the Dog Girl (a weredog from Chumash legend). Jade is a high school drop out, who quit school to support her two siblings, Nevaeh and Makenzi. She works two jobs full-time, mechanic by night and day guard for the Crypts, a vampire gang, whose rivals are the Bloods. (After thinking about vampire gang names for a while, I realized that California street gangs must actually BE vampire gangs already.)

In the Chumash legend, Dog Girl is Cinderella with a sad ending. She leaves her dirt poor family of Dog People, marries the Chief’s son, and becomes loved and rich. But behind people’s backs, she can’t resist dog-like behavior, and when her sister-in-law spots her, she flees in shame, and she and her entire family revert to dogs. Luna’s player was new to the group, recruited that afternoon by Jade’s player, and I was pretty nervous about her choice of what could be a joke character. But she did it wonderfully. In Improv classes, a standard skit is “the person with animal qualities” and I’ve seen it done really well and really badly. “Luna” was one of the best versions I’ve ever seen, subtle but clear, and with a great deal of variety in the dog references. I was enjoying the performance a lot, so I probably kept the spotlight on Luna to the detriment of the other PC’s.

Here’s a summary of the session. School is scheduled to let out early for the winter break, when it is announced that there will be a special, mandatory assembly, where Mayor Tygar will address the school. Luanne sees her Mom and the mayor on the way there, and chats with them. They tell her the assembly is in response to a mockery of Chumash culture that took place in the school. The principal, a parapalegic former surfing star, stops Scott and expresses concern about his future. Jade, at the school to pick up her sisters, has a short run-in with Iggy over her cigarette-littering habit. Then she spots Lila, an addict and hanger-on of the rival Bloods gang, loitering around campus. Luanne spots Luna, the only Chumash student, and tells her that, despite what she’ll hear in the assembly, it was no mockery of Chumash culture, but a sincere Chumash ritual. Meanwhile, Jade confronts her sister Nevaeh about her plans to go to a party run by Lila, and grounds her. “What’s the difference between Lila and my friends? My friends are Crypts, Lila’s a Blood, that’s the difference!”

The assembly starts. Mayor Tygar, over much heckling, explains that some cultish scum took advantage of the crises the town faced (missing research sub, earthquake, tsunami, and “plague of spinal-cord severing bacteria from the new island”. They looted Chumash artifacts from the museum and held a demonic ritual at that very auditorium. He has been warned anonymously that Satanic cult activities were on-going at the school. Under the supervision of Hallitoxin , the security firm contracted by the city to enforce the quarantine of the new island, the school will be searched thoroughly over holiday break, with all lockers and teacher’s offices searched, and extracurricular activities cancelled. Brittani is outraged. “Where’s your school spirit? How do you expect us to win the championship without cheerleading practice?”

Since our group conducted the Chumash ritual, and at least one member is a demon, I expected more panic over the search, and an attempt to break into the school to clear out lockers of suspicious materials. But alas, there was little reaction, except from Luna, who wanted to clear out the doggie treats from her locker before the bloodhounds arrived! (Ron would certainly have had a stash, and Vanessa witchy stuff. George announced that he kept all his supplies in his oversized backpack. Scott and Brittani didn’t have anything to hide, and Luanne was gone by this point.)

Luna slips into the school in dog form and disposes of her doggie treats. Then she hears noises from the boiler room. At sunset, two vampires emerge from hiding. They take some satanic-seeming objects and plant them in Iggy’s office/closet. Then they go back to the boiler room and paint a magic circle on the floor with pig’s blood. They performed a ritual that summoned two good-looking demons, David and Delilah. They spoke for a bit, mentioning Darien the diviner, confirming that Iggy had been framed, and that the party was on schedule. The demons then teleported themselves and the vampires away.

Iggy returns from cleaning up the auditorium, and chatting with the security guards. Luna warns him about the vampires. “They framed you. Then they summoned demons to take them to a party. Er.. and that’s when they knocked over your trash and ate your french fries….” They are quite suspicious of each other, but the vampire conspiracy is clearly the greater of whatever evils are around. Iggy remembers (with his photographic memory) Jade talking to Lila about a party, so Luna tracks Jade to her garage. Luna convinces Jade to meet with Iggy at McDonald’s and tell him what she knows. Jade calls Nevaeh to make sure she’s home, and to pump her for information.

“Scottt, George, and Brittani, you are together doing what?” “No way. We wouldn’t hang out together.” Oh well, Scott is playing in George’s D&D game (evidently with 1st edition rules, despite George’s predilection for realistic magic). Brittani is scouting out sites for cheerleading practice, in
Rider Park, a sleazy area near Blood turf. (I feel she should get credit for “strolling in the
graveyard” for that one, despite not knowing to evoke the rule. I had actually planned to call the area MacKenzie Park, but Jade’s sister was named Makenzi). Brittani sees the two demons and vampires appear in the park, where they meet a larger group of Bloods and high school students and pile into vans. Some of the students were cheerleaders! Clearly this is all part of the anti-cheer conspiracy!
Brittani flips onto a nearby swingset, and uses the high bar to swing on top of one of the vans.

While on top of the van, she gets a cell phone call from Luanne (played by the GM). This reminds her that she has a cell phone, and she calls Scott to tell him of the conspiracy. She downloads an iphone ap to allow them to track her cell phone. Scott and George know to look for Iggy at McDonald’s, where he, Luna and Jade are talking about the vampire party. The vans have gotten to the look-out
point on Mount Inez, and the students are being lead up a path to near the top. Brittani calls in, then pursues discreetly; Iggy shadow walks to her. Luna gets on back of Jade’s bike, and George and Scott take Scott’s jeep, heading up to Mount Inez.

At the site of the rave, the students are told to lie down and hold hands, and vials of clear fluid are passed around by vampires and demons. They are circling a large geode, or as Luna sees it,
a crystal house like the Chumash gods have. Thinking it might soon be too late, Brittani charges in, and thwarts incubus David’s attempt to seduce her by putting him down in the middle of a pick-up line. On the other hand, he seems equally impervious to her boot in his face, and those vampires don’t look friendly. Jade and Luna ride in on the bike, silenced by George’s spell, and Luna runs around in dog form disrupting the ceremony. (“No dogs allowed in rituals! ”) Iggy emerges and recognizes Delilah, and the rest soon join them.

It looks like a fight, right? In fact, the players were asked permission to run the game late, and they agreed because “it’s just getting exciting”. But then Iggy invokes the Favor Darien owes him from last session. Consulting a book she’s holding, Delilah confirms that a Favor is indeed owed. “Surf City is mine. My Favor is to never harm a Surf City citizen or anyone while they are in Surf City”. Darien reluctantly agrees, and the Bloods call off the ceremony after Jade threatens to call the cops and the demons make assurances that they would get paid anyway.

The resolution was a bit anti-climactic, but it reinforces how seriously Favors are taken, as well as the demon restriction that they must follow contracts to the letter. Plus, we were all tired by that point, and I’m not sure how long the fight scene would have taken.

Especially Scott and George’s players didn’t have a lot to do the whole session. So I really need to work on including everyone in the main plot. Modern fantasy doesn’t have the same notion of an adventuring party from D&D or a superhero team, so I need to be more creative in keeping the
group together. Perhaps emphasizing rules like “cemetery strolling” is enough. But I’m open to suggestions.

Reverse the Polarity of the Swordfish Dance

When a plan really comes together, it makes it look like there was a plan.

I ran the second session of EEK!, which seems to be actually called ARGH! these days. This is the modern fantasy/horror game designed by Josh Macy and myself, using a variant of his KAPOW! superhero game rules. My campaign is almost-the-Buffyverse, with weird things happening in the high school of a California beach town, Surf City.

If you read the last post, I liked the game and characters, but was concerned that the PC’s didn’t seem to be linking up into a party, or making any plan of attack, and there was a shortage of action. Well, things came together this session. It almost seemed railroaded, despite the fact that I had no clue how things were going to turn out until they did.

The first session introduced Luanne, nosy school journalist, Scott, cursed ex-jock, George, nerdy accidental wizard, and Iggy, the creepy demonic janitor. Mike, who played George, couldn’t make it this time, but instead we had three new players. they chose pregens designed by Josh and me, but based on Doug’s suggestions, sent by email before the game. Ron the stoner is self explanatory, although Josh pencilled in “concert pianist” on his schtick list just before the session. Vanessa is a goth blood witch, that gets power by cutting herself, much to the consternation of the school psychologist. Brittani is the “mean cheerleader”, a bad-ass who can kick, jump, taunt, and inspire teamwork too.

The good news is that not only did they come together as a team to defeat evil, they did it with a plan that seemed like it was artificially created to require exactly this group of characters. Since I didn’t even know which characters were going to be played, that was somewhat miraculous. Almost all the character templates seemed to do what they were intended to do, with mundanes having their shining moments just like uniques and demons, without sprouting super-powers. The exception was Vanessa, who didn’t have time to research the killer ap spell that is supposed to be the magician’s star moment.

Last session, they had been investigating a bunch of vague threats. An oceanographic research submarine went missing. Mysterious symbols had been carved in the walls of their school resembling Chumash petroglyfs. Scott failed to rescue a drowning surfer from strangely aggessive swordfish. Luanne and George talked to famous author Bara Ingule, whose father was an authority on the Chumash, and found out about their myths of the Swordfish people, the nunashish demons, and the cliff ogress. Iggy traumatized George. Then there was an earthquake and a mysterious island rose off the coastline. When they recovered their bearings, Luanne and George went to the school library, and found Andy the crazy kid etching Chumash glyphs in the wall.

The start of the session seemed to indicate the same level of individualism. Ron took a message to Iggy; “hey, man, the boiler wants to talk to you”, but then went on his way while Iggy conversed with Darian the diviner, who offered Iggy a magic gizmo to detect evilishness in return for his help in keeping tabs on a newly unguarded cache of damned souls off the coast. Meanwhile, Luanne googled “Chumash swordfish” in the library, and i impressed elyssa by giving her the copies of the websites on the Chumash Swordfish Dance that I had found by googling the same thing. The internet may not be the place to find truth, but it is the place to find the kind of truthiness that is all that is required for a game! Vanessa overheard George bring Andy to be questioned by Luanne, before going off to research a spell, but didn’t really approach her. Even when Luanne asked Vanessa’s input on magic symbols, Vanessa basically cut her off.

(Kris, who played Vanessa, kept on apologizing for “not knowing how to play”. Not only is this an unwritten game system based on a home-brew system whose rules are in flux, it turned out that this was only Kris’s second role-playing game of any variety! If I had known, I would have given her some extra coaching. As it is, she did a great job of going with the flow. Despite uncertainty, she seemed to have a good time, a few times covering her face to muffle laughter. So I hope it was an OK intro to RPG’s for her.)

Brittani, in the gym, confronts a bunch of basketball players coming in to school from surfing, inconsiderately dripping water on the gym floor, and calls for Iggy. The basketball players ignore her, and start heading for the cafeteria, suddenly famished. When Iggy telekenetically closes the doors, they slam into one of the jocks, whose head pops off and begins lunging at them, rolling and bouncing acrobatically. The other athletes devour that one’s fallen body, and start munching on each other, too. Hearing the skirmish, Scott and Luanne rush to the gym, but Vanessa and Ron stay in the library. The subsequent fight sees unorthodox uses of sports equipment, as baskets are scored and goals kicked with rolling, devouring heads. Scott’s newly revealed troll strength (which he uses for the first time), Brittani’s cheer-fu, and Iggy’s telekenesis are more than a match for the heads. However, it is Luanne who shines in her mundane way, by wrapping two distracted heads up in a volleyball net before they leave their bodies. That is the great thing about Kapow! and its offshoots: if it makes sense, it works. Of course, I usually adopt that as an unofficial rule in all my games, but in Kapow! it is Rule 1. Amanda comes in, and finishes off some heads, while scooping up gore to use in a counter-head spell. Attempts to interrogate the heads get nowhere, but realizing that the players came from the ocean, iggy teleports to the coast and confirms that there is a wide-spread epidemic, with some aquatic heads sprouting tadpolish bodies.

Meanwhile, Ron is befriending Andy the crazy boy, using his stoner ability to accept weirdness at face value. He learns that Andy had a near-death by drowning experience, and since then has viewed himself as divided, with a half that lives with the Swordfish men in their gigantic underwater hut. The Swordfish men were injured by the depth charges placed by the sub, and are near death. Part of the hut splintered away, rising to the surface. The Swordfish men asked Andy to warn the surface dwellers about the evils that will come for them once they are dead, which is why he was carving those petroglyffs. Andy gets overexcited, and Ron sedates him.

So we are getting into some action, and advancing the plot, but there still is a shortage of team work. But then Luanne calls up Bara and asks her about ways to help the Swordfish men. Bara thinks Luanne is going crazy, but is intrigued as a fictional possibility, and gets caught up in speculating. Then there’s the unexpected twist (for me). Luanne asks Bara if the Swordfish Dance could be used to help the swordfish men. Bara answers (using the best of my understanding of Chumash culture from a few websites); “I don’t see how. The dance is intended to draw strength from the Swordfish men, not to give them tribute.” A light goes off in the players’ heads: Lets Reverse the Polarity of the Swordfish Dance! “I suppose that might be a possibility. But you would need an expert on Chumash culture and an expert choreographer…” Luanne points out that Bara is an expert , and Brittani
volunteers to choreograph. “You would need authentic Chumash swordfish mask, like in the museum.” Iggy: “back in a minute…”
“What am I thinking of? if we take legends seriously, the swordfish men are supernaturally strong. If we reverse the symbolism, that would kill a mortal dancer. ” Scott: um… i think we can work around that…. “Musical accompaniment would be essential”
Ron: there’s a piano in the auditorium, man.

A few hours later, Scott has donned the swordfish mask, and is feeling good about using his inner troll for constructive purposes. Ron is keeping the beat on the piano, and Brittani is shouting out instructions. then there’s a crashing noise, as the cliff ogress who created the heads crashes through the school, smashing overhead lighting as she rushes to stop the ceremony. Luanne runs out to delay her while the others come up with a plan. She uses her Keep `em talking power , and the cliff ogress stops to sermonize about the unfairness of the chumash dieties and swordfish men, who allowed her relatives the nunashish to drown in the flood and then keep them prisoner in the undersea hut. Luanne: “She may have a point. how do we know she’s the evil one?” Scott: “the basket of children she’s carrying to feed to the heads is a clue.” As Scott and Ron continue the ceremony, Iggy, Brittani,
and Vanessa co-ordinate their attacks, with Brittani giving a kick to push the ogresses head back, Vanessa immediately giving the ogress a slash across the throat, and Iggy telekenetically pushing the dangling electrical cords into the wound to fry her. With the ogress dead, they complete the ceremony, with Scott ending in full troll mode, but slumped into exhausted sleep rather than going on a berserk rampage.

By this point, there is no doubt. these aren’t just a bunch of freaks and weirdo’s, they are a team.

The next day, Vanessa uses her blood magic to send a message to the swordfish men, asking them to send Andy’s half-soul back. They do, and express gratitude, offering all of the group a favor as well.

The premise of the campaign was to have been different factions fighting for the swordfish men’s treasures and nunashish souls after their demise. But having the PC’s actually heal the swordfish men was much better. And there’s still the mysterious island that the splinter of the hut became to serve as a seed for new plots.