Remind me, next time we’re going through a rough patch, that today my boy was an utter joy – that he has been for a while now, going through a mature and mellow phase. These things do happen. I know the wheel will turn, it always does, but then it turns again and he is as sweet as sunshine.
We didn’t do anything that earth-shattering. We went to Kits Beach with the dog, had hot chocolate sitting in the sun at Cafe Zucchero, got some Tintin and Percy Jackson at the library, made pizza, read aloud to each other in turns. But he was calm, insightful, funny, fun. He’s a good kid.
Some of you – those with memories more tenacious than mine, anyway – will remember that we were looking into the possibility of ADHD. We filled out questionnaires, along with Byron’s teacher, and talked to the pediatrician, and decided no. He’s in the normal range, at the far edge, perhaps, but not outside. That’s good, on the one hand – I didn’t want him to have ADHD – but difficult in its own way. If you have a diagnosis, they have to meet you partway; if not, you’re on your own.
But, you know, we don’t do badly on our own, not by a long shot. We talk a lot. Any little thing comes up at school, we talk it out. And he’s growing up, growing into his brain, and that’s making a world of difference. It’s hard when your intellect is way out front, your body is lagging a bit, and your emotions are dragging way back behind. They’re all supposed to work together, and they just weren’t, but he’s really made strides in the new year.
Also, I’ve been participating in Destination Imagination with him, which has really given me a new perspective on and appreciation for him. I started out feeling a little pissy about it – why were we filling out ADHD questionnaires when all these other kids seemed way LESS focused than B, to say nothing of having real emotional issues or being outright jerks? But I’ve stopped comparing (because it was driving me crazy) and really started looking at Byron and what he does and who he is – and the kid is all right.
He’s interested in so many things. He’s always thinking, and not just thinking but DOING. He is perceptive, sensitive, inquisitive, and damn he leaves me tired at the end of the day, even when it’s been a happy fun day. I wonder whether that isn’t a complicating factor at school – he just takes so much energy, and teachers (I’ve learned, working with the DI group) don’t have enough. It’s counterintuitive, that he should wear you out. He’s so smart, it seems he should take LESS work, should be doing things completely independently with minimal fuss on your part. It’s not that he’s needy, exactly, or clingy, or won’t do things for himself. He just also needs you there, needs you answering questions and reflecting him back to himself and just being present in a very intense, engaged way.
He is WORK. Good work. The very best kind. And I can go to bed, utterly whupped, knowing in my heart that today I did something worth doing.
